I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
