if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
