after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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