why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
