we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize