Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I want a musical about memes.
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