I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize