I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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