Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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