so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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