grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
