Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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