OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize