There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
