Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I party with great urgency now.
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