my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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