when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
