Please, let me fuck your mom
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
