You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
