Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
