i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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