is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
