weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
