do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
