a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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