I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
