I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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