If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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