So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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