so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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