It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
