i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
