Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
