my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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