So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
