He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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