worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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