I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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