she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
