dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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