you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
