I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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