So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
