were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The uberlube is also flammable
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
