Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
