I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
