Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He shit in the fireplace
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize