I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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