mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
