so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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