is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he was CRYING into my vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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