We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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