is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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