doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
