when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Green mimosas i think yes
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
