Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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