I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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