...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
