its not stalking. its research.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
