And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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