You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
