My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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