Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
