hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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