He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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