i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize