I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We just shotgunned beers for America
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
