He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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