Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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