you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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