Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
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Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
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"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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