at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
