When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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