Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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