I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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